YL5 Week 6: In the face of change

 YL5 Week 6: In the face of Change

Just a quick update this week, so less of my philosophizing or spiritualizing and more on reflections of the program thus far. We finished Cell last Wednesday. The day before that we had an exam on cell physiology. I admit that my mood got a bit more boosted because the last topic was on the basics of neurophysiology. I have always found neuro fascinating. It's one of the reasons I keep neuro on my mind (though no longer neurosurgery). Cell was quite an experience. I felt like I never really had given my all yet (except in the first exam). It might be trying to anticipate preventing burnout. For that, I didn't really study after the tuesday exam. Pro tip: if you do want to study don't calculate how much you need to pass for the final. I even mistook the time the final exam was to start. I thought it was at 3 but a flurry of calls from my transition group confirmed it at 1:00. After the exam occurred, I typed out what I could from the feedback as always and then decided to do other productive things such as my ethics paper. 

The next module was hematology and immunology– a subject I am very amateurish at, thus far. The course didn't go live until 11:30 pm of wednesday. Thursday's orientation got me started transcribing each lecture. I decided to do a lecture only approach this time around, while having the two references on the side (via my tablet) as I transcribe the lecture. 

This weekend was interesting in that there was a lot to react to in the face of change, and admittedly I had missed the mark in a lot of them. The suggested time study did say to complete Friday's module then spend the weekend taking a break. And take a break I did, but I didn't finish Friday's module. The quiz is due on Monday early in the morning, while I also have my Principles of Management exam on Monday (asynchronous, 2 hours to complete start any time during the day). 

Lots of my TG mates have gone blazing ahead and I've reminded myself of some advice saying it's a marathon rather than a sprint and it's okay to take time first to figure things out before feeling like one needs to do well. I find myself in a spot where I always feel like I hold myself back and I could always achieve and do much better if I want to. That's the mood thus far between every module. Like having new year's resolutions, fleeting thoughts of contrition without the penance. I hope to make a change here again in spite of all the change (both personal, which I will keep personal, and academic). 

We had our leadership session today (saturday). Here, we had to each present our enneagram numbers and I had initially planned to be as quick as possible but ended up preparing for it the entire evening of Friday as well as present much longer than I expected. I realized that when I get nervous or I feel like I'm not making sense, I spend extra time explaining things and then putting them all into context so it seems like I just prepared something very long, when in reality I just forgot my point here and put another point so I can fix everything as I go. It'll just keep taking more practice.

What I feel like I should do again this time around is to reinstitute good habits I had in Principles and Perspectives and the first week of cell. I.e. I should have an activity/hobby to work on with similar focus to med school and is not instantly rewarding/gratifying. Back then, it was learning hymns on piano so I could do the liturgy of the hours with me playing instead of listening to a backing piano on youtube. I could do that again– there's a long list anyway of hymns I want to learn. Or I could look into something else, but definitely not anymore this gaming nonsense I got into this weekend. 

For considering ASMPH, it will honestly be kind of the same perhaps as other medical schools that do modular approaches, there's just a little bit of integrated additional activities that one should realize they're committing to on top of medical school. These aren't optional but they are indeed subjects that can be fruitful if one gives oneself time to learn it. It can be another allied activity to keep up productivity. The point is to invest in these little things that seem like loose change. It's really the things we take for granted– the things that surround the main event that promotes long lasting change. The event is once in a lifetime, but the way it is contextualized will be applied to future events all the time. Of the year long subjects, there will be switching weekly between ethics, leadership, and research. All of this while juggling the bi-weekly MBA subjects (YL5– PriMan) and the current medical school module. It'll keep us well rounded, I believe. But there's more to talk about once another month or so has settled in. Until then, change is the norm. Time to think and act like I'm being catalyzed by the enzyme– move quickly to the product in the next step of the reaction and quit staying at the transition state. It'll always be in transition. By the grace of God, we'll make it.

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